carloswillshutitdown: mark2twainz: Carlos you’re a little bitch and you’re really bad at texting but your sister is pretty and i hate you remember when me and Kori used to talk mad shit about each other
octupac: lets play “how rude can i be until u realize i dont like u”
the-conspiracytheory: tyleroakley: Next week on the Real Housewives. never not funny
johnathanegbert: i found the video source
phantoms4evr: janetdevlinoffic: Always remember that you are not worthless, organs are extremely expensive on the black market My roommate and I just looked this up and your bone marrow alone is worth $23 million. 23 million dollars. So if you ever kidnap someone, don’t hold them for ransom, just keep them in a vegetative state and slowly sell their bone marrow on the black market.
cornchipz: awkwardcontent: Fun fact: Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb the anus forms before any other opening. Which basically means at one point you were nothing but an asshole. some people never develop beyond this stage
eyebrowgod: whoreiblejokes: eyebrowgod: i don’t wanna have sex i want a razor scooter goddammit liar look bruh you can either have sex and feel shitty afterwards or get the sickest air of your life the choice is obvious
jackoffrost: “why yes, it is my time of the month” i roar as i grow fur all over my body. my limbs change shape. i transform into a wolf and howl at the moon and bound away into the woods
unvivid: it’s weird how body parts are considered sacred and secret when you can just take someone’s clothes off and see them, whereas someone’s personality or sense of humour or opinions and mind are all literally invisible, like there’s no way to see what someone’s mind is like without their consent. why don’t we glorify minds more than bodies, aren’t they more sacred and special?
getting 0 notes on a post you were so sure was going to be successful
I seriously love text post ahneiwkgksgklq
corncop: people are following me probably thinking im cool truth is you are completely right
shixn: i think my priest might be gay????? i mean he keeps saying “ah, men” after every prayer
thefasstimes: “isn’t that a little gay” my friend asks “yes” i respond as i look at the miniature homosexual sitting on my desk “it is”